Primary Standard: Communication


Learning Plan Title: The I Message


HE. 4.5.3 Students will demonstrate communication skills necessary for making, being, and keeping friends.

Performance Descriptor:

Mastery Level:  Fourth grade students performing at the mastery level will state all forms of communication to express feelings; recognize positive personal qualities and list those needed for making and keeping friends.


Cards with role-playing situations listed below

Learning Plan:  


  • Discuss with students the meaning of "I" statements. By using an "I" statement, the persons speaking is accepting responsibility for his/her own feelings, thoughts, and behavior. Sometimes when we are upset we blame other people. For example: "See what you made me do! You made me so angry! You are a creep! You're not a very good friend."
  • The teacher will model an "I" statement. For example: "I felt angry when you didn't invite me to your party. I felt left out." These statements are not blaming. The speaker takes the responsibility for his/her feelings. Be sure to include "I feel_________________when you ________________because it seems ___________. I want you to _______________.
  • Discuss with students the positive effects of "I" messages. How could friendship be enhanced by using "I" messages.
  • Discuss with students the negative effects of blaming statements. "You hurt my feelings. You didn't invite me to your party. I hate you "
  • Students will role-play situations using "I" messages. Provide students with cards containing "I" statement opportunities.
  • Your friend has been sulking and acting sad all day. You don't know the reason.
  • Your brother or sister is playing the stereo so loud it is interfering with you finishing your homework.
  • Your best friend is an hour late to go somewhere with you.
  • A parent takes you out for your favorite meal.
  • Your brother or sister borrows something and does not return it.
  • A parent or teacher yells you at.
  • Your Mom or Dad spends an entire day with you doing things you want to do.
  • You are blamed for something you did not do.
  • A friend keeps asking to copy your work.
  • Someone calls you a name.
  • You have to a speech in front of the class and someone is giggling.
  • Your brother or sister keeps getting into your things at home.
  • You have a fight with a friend over something she said about you.

Related Health Content Standards and Objectives:

Additional Health Learning Plan Links:

Of Bullies and Friends :


Friendship Theme - Lesson Plans, Thematic Units, Pintables, Worksheets :

Libby Bloom

Adapted from Project Charlie

Cross Curricular Learning Plans:

•  HE.S.1

•  He.4.1.1 Students will describe how people have a variety of feeling and ways of expressing those feelings.